When I bring my older son to preschool in the morning, drop-off isn’t a simple drop-off process. You must: navigate through the sea of suburban mom drivers, park your mom mobile, remove all children from the vehicle, and walk them to their classroom. That is, if you can make it through the parking lot without your toddler clinging to your leg and tripping you over (all while simultaneously balancing the baby on your hip!) before you reach the classroom.
This gives you plenty of time to get interesting glances from other moms dropping off their most prized possessions at school, too. Maybe you’ll even exchange a quick “hello”. After a few months of doing this drop-off thing, I’ve come to realize that there are a few very distinct types of moms at preschool. They are eerily similar to The Spice Girls:
1. Posh Spice Mom –
She is polished and perfect. She has on a super cute outfit, matching designer sunglasses, her hair is perfectly in place and even has pretty, soft curls cascading down her back. Her baby is calmly asleep on her shoulder (every.single.day) with a perfectly placed bow headband and a ruffly dress. Their outfits generally coordinate, too. The child she is dropping off and picking up from school is also primly dressed and extremely well-behaved. She is the ultimate Posh Mom, head of the moms club, and the envy of all the other Spice Moms.
2. Sporty Spice Mom –
You know this one! She is always in her neon Nike shirt and black workout pants. Her Nike sneakers are the same neon shade as her shirt. She has a baseball cap on, too. It also bares a matching Nike logo, and her Sporty Mom ponytail is pulled through the back of the hat. No one really knows if she goes to the gym after she drops her kid off at school. She never comes back sweaty and it’s really a big mystery.
3. Scary Spice Mom –
Scary Mom usually a stay-at-home mom and is always late. Her hair probably hasn’t been brushed and she shows up in leggings or yoga pants. She is frazzled and her brain is all over the place. She has no idea what day it is, and forgot to bring that important signed form back to the teacher again today. Scary Mom has other children besides the preschool goer, and they’re usually crying at drop-off and pick-up (the kids and maybe the mom, too!). She wishes she could have it all together like Posh Mom, and has “no idea how Posh Mom does it all”.
4. Ginger Spice Mom –
Ginger Mom is the working mom. She has on her business clothes, and means business at drop off. Which means she doesn’t usually have time for small talk. Even if you say “hi”, she almost always will inaudibly say “hello” as she quickly breezes away…actually, you’re not even sure if she said “hello”.
5. Baby Spice Mom –
This is the pregnant mom. She has a toddler in preschool and a baby on the way. She seems like a great Baby Mama. She is generally cheerful, and “so ready to have this baby”.
The one thing all Spice Moms have in common – I’ll tell you what they want, what they really really want (sorry, I had to!) –
Whether they’re Posh Mom or Scary Mom, they all want to be the best mom that they can possibly be for their kids!