What about all of those status updates from your Mom friends? Shall we call it “MomBooking”? After intense analyzation, I’ve narrowed mom status updates down to a few key categories that most moms can be grouped into. Curious to know what type of mom you are on Facebook? Great, let’s find out!
10 Types of Moms on Facebook
1. “OMG I swear this is the last pic I’m posting of the baby today.” – After flooding your news feed with no less than approximately 75 photos today of her sweet little baby, she swears that this is, in fact, the LAST ONE for the day! Then, not even 2 hours later you see the baby’s face pop back up on your screen…with the caption “Ok, guys, sorry I lied. He’s just too cute not to share! This is the last pic for the day.”
2. “My cervix is 3.5 centimeters dilated! Woohoo!! Come on out baby and meet the world.” This new mom-to-be is already gearing up to be the same mom who, in the following weeks and months, very generously posts about: her child’s very unfortunate horrible acid reflux (which may or may not also include a photo to go along with it), pooping schedule, how long it’s been since she has last taken a shower or had sex, breastfeeding issues, and a plethora of other TMI moments.
3. “I’m so proud of our little Einstein. At only 13 months old she can already name all of the state capitals and speak Mandarin. She’s also working on her college applications instead of taking naps! Way to go, baby girl, Mommy and Daddy love you so much!” This proud mom is totally obsessed with sharing about how much her kids know, and has no shame in her game about letting you know just how smart her kiddo is.
4. “Wow. Your son can walk now? How old is he again? 15 months? That’s great! My son was able to walk at 13 months, and I was starting to get worried that he wasn’t hitting his milestones on time.” This mom. Ugh. Go away, lady. No one likes a one-upper.
5. “I’m SO tired! I wish little Jimmy would just go to bed already! He’s been up since 5am and I am so over this day!” The complainer mama. We’re all tired, girlfriend. We get it. We just don’t need to hear about it every status update of the day.
6. “I just baked the most amazing organic, gluten-free, farm fresh, blah blah blah food. My little girl just loves her mama’s all-natural home cooking.” Being healthy is such an important thing to model for your children. Good for you for finding the time to be a mom and all-natural baker. Unless your status updates also come with fresh baked goods delivered straight to my doorstep then we don’t need to see a photo of every.single.organic.all.natural.thing. you make!
7. “Just left the gym! I’m so glad I got my workout in at 5am so I’m ready take on the day with my kiddos as a #FITMOM” (Insert photo of this #fitmom flexing in all of her sweaty post-workout glory)
8. “Look at how cute this dinosaur shaped sandwich is that I made my kid for lunch today! We also painted beautiful self-portraits of each other, and we are getting ready for a post-lunch trip to the museum. Fun day!” This artsy-craftsy little mama is always making cute stuff and doing interesting arty things with her kid. Her motto is: “Different day, different art district to explore.”
9. “Just prepped dinner. Baby is napping. Vacuumed the whole house. Got in a quick workout, and wow it’s only 11am. #SuperMom” Oh hey, perfectionist mama! That’s great that you’re so regimented. However, we don’t need daily updates of your to-do list to be reminded of how amazingly perfect you are.
10. “You think it’s hard now, just wait until he’s 2 years old (3 years old, 10 years old, whatever…)” This patronizing pal is happy to give you a high-five right to the face whenever she gets a chance. She always has it “harder” than you, and #thestruggleisreal according to her.
Want more mom humor? Here are some other motherhood-induced posts you may like: